My Dreams

Cutting across the lawn between our houses
I walked with great effort. 
The lawn was mud, 
thick, 
boggy up to my knees.

It gripped my feet 
making each step a struggle. 
A fight. 
An huge effort. 
Each step. 
So much struggle. 

I woke and thought 
this is what every single second 
of every single minute 
of every single hour 
of every single day 
is like for me right now. 

Every breath is a struggle
a fight 
through the thick
boggy

black mud.

————————

I found myself 
being chased down a corridor 
by two large men. 

I was all alone 
and it was 
hopeless. 

What scared me 
was not that I was being chased 
and then caught by these men; 
but that 
I didn’t even
try
to fight back. 

I just couldn’t.