Tuesday, May 6, 2014

A Blind Restaurant

A glimpse into a life with depression


This is how I would describe my confusion, my desire to move forward and not having a clue how. Have you ever heard of those ‘blind restaurants’?  I have never been to one but I have heard about them. They are designed for ‘foodies’ – they are dark, you can’t see – it is supposed to enhance your focus on the taste of the food. Apparently the servers and wait staff are either blind or wear night-vision goggles. You can’t even see your plate or companion. And even though I have never been, I feel that I am trapped in one. I felt that I had gone to one of those restaurants with a friend and during the meal I was taken to the bathroom by a wait staff. Afterwards I came out of the bathroom on my own and I wanted to get back to my table but didn’t know which way it was. I desperately wanted to get back to the table, to the conversation, to my life but I didn’t have a clue which direction. I wanted to move, to take a step. If I went the wrong way I could bump into things that would hurt. I could bump into others and hurt them. I could end up further away from where I wanted to go, taking a much longer and more painful route than I needed to.

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